MAIN CAST

Robert "Bob" White:
Bob is the calm, taciturn half of the duo for which the comic is named. He is of average height, slightly overweight, with black hair, brown eyes, and a goatee. He is never seen without his favorite red baseball cap, and tends to favour grey t-shirts and jeans.

For the most part, Bob meets life's challenges with a calm demeanor. He is rarely seen to get genuinely agitated, although years of being overweight have made him acutely uncomfortable with nudity. Beneath his stoic exterior, Bob is a man of deep feelings and strong morals. He is loyal to his fiercely loyal to his friends, though seems to have difficulty maintaining a serious romantic relationship.

Bob has found himself entangled in many strange events, most of which seem to center on a necklace he was given as a child. Bob has been kidnapped by aliens, held captive in a virtual facsimile of the world, and threatened by vampires, among other things.

Edward "Ed" Bates:
Ed is the enthusiastic, uninhibited free spirit of the group. He is extremely tall and lanky, with blonde hair (which he prefers to keep long) and green eyes. He is usually seen wearing some combination of green and orange with khaki pants.

Ed possesses a boundless, child-like enthusiasm, which puts him in sharp contrast to his roomate and lifelong friend Bob. Raised by hippy parents, Ed has inherited their strongly anti-authoritarian views on society, and for a long time refused to hold down a legitimate job. Ed is a generally happy person, viewing every day as an adventure, but he is also easily agitated and very impressionable. After seeing Jaws, he refused to bathe for a month. Ed has joined his friend Bob on numerous adventures, where his skills at kung-fu and cheating at video games have proven invaluable.

Kelly Connor:
Kelly lives across the hall from Bob and Ed with her roomate, Tracey. She is medium height, with brown hair and blue eyes.

Kelly is a sensitive, emotionally vulnerable young woman who has had a romantic fixation on Bob since the two of them were toddlers. Having come from a less-than-ideal home life, Bob represents the stability and security her family couldn't provide. Unfortunately, her upbringing also left her with low self-esteem, so she is unable to profess her feelings for Bob. Instead, she has concocted many plans to try and get him to notice her, most of which seem to involve exposing her breasts to him in one way or another. Like Bob and Ed, Kelly has found herself pulled into many adventures, which led to her being trained as a Jedi by a young Obi-Wan Kenobi (who also developped a rather serious crush on her). Kelly is a kind and sweet soul, but has a fierce, violent temper when anyone she cares about is threatened.

Tracey Blakely:
Tracey is the "mother" of the group, and lives with Kelly. She is medium height, with red hair and green eyes, which she usually hides behind glasses.

Tracey comes from a very affluent but very neglectful family. As a consequence of having to raise herself from a very young age, Tracey is practical and responsible. Of the core group of friends, she is probably the most well-adjusted, and frequently acts as the voice of reason. Tracey usually finds herself the "odd man out" when it comes to adventure. The only time she found herself involved, it was revealed that she was the product of a virtual facsimile of the real world. With the help of Ed, she was able to destroy the illusion, as well as the alien ship that created it. Unfortunately, virtual-Tracey was also destroyed.

SUPPORTING CAST

Ryan Costello Jr.:
Ryan is a vampire, and the main (or most frequently seen) antagonist of the story so far. He is tall and pale and dresses all in black, like all vampires do. He also tends to favour t-shirts with 80's pop-culture cartoon villain logos on them.

Throughout high school, Ryan got average grades, had average social standing, and was an all-around unremarkable kind of guy. At his high school graduation party, tired of being ignored by his peers, Ryan impulsively struck up a deal with a shady character by the name of Mr. Schwartz. Ryan was granted the strength, vitality, and charisma of a vampire and, in turn, was charged with one simple task: find a mystical item known as "the key" and bring it to his mysterious benefactor. Having tracked it to Bob, Ryan is finding his task more difficult than he had anticipated.

Ryan was based on a real-life friend of the author, although only loosely. The real Ryan is not actually a vampire, and is a quite nice fellow.

"Big Gay John" Brandon:
John has been a friend of Bob and Ed since he was "Small Confused John" in elementary school. He has since grown into his eyebrows, and serves as the occasional spiritual advisor to our heroes.

Little is actually known about John at this point, except that he seems to know more about Bob's current troubles than he's letting on, and he has a talking car who is also his jealous ex-boyfriend. He somehow found his way into the alien mainframe and helped Bob and friends escape from the simulated world they were trapped in, and has since agreed to drive a couple of midgets to a volcano so they can throw a ring in.

John was also based on a real-life friend of the author, and once almost met Uwe Boll.

Jeff the Cat:
Jeff is a cat that lives with Bob and Ed. He has the power of speech and a Scottish accent, a fact with no one seems to find the least bit odd.

Violent, sexually voracious, and supremely self-centered, Jeff is basically an average cat except that he can talk. He fulfills the "indestructible, sass-talking cute animal" quota of the comic.

Jeff was based on a real-life friend of the author who is not actually a cat at all, really.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR